(no subject)

[cleolinda]

All right, I need some legal advice here. Sister Girl and her best friend are sacked out on my bed reading my magazines and they won't leave and Sister Girl is singing the bottles-of-beer-on-the-wall song and she's down to 64 bottles of hate kill beer on the wall, and my question is, is there a jury in this country that would convict me if I killed her right now?

ETA: Now they're whistling. Really loud. Which is fine, except that it makes the dog howl. Like, for fifteen minutes at a shot. He just starts and doesn't stop--it's like an aria or something. And they're trying to set him off on purpo--yep, there he goes right now.

Comments

[just2draw.livejournal.com]

Singing the "bottles of beer" song can get you capital punishment in some countries.

[whizbang121.livejournal.com]

I'd turn a blind eye. Yes.

Well...

[servingsize.livejournal.com]

Whats a little jail time in the overall scheme of things? I mean, if you act quickly maybe you can room with Martha Stewart and that could be a new friendship for life.

[titti]

Tape her, then plea temporary insanity and introduce the tape into evidence. After the jury hears it, you'll be free.

[tragywydd.livejournal.com]

If you live near me, I promise you freedom =p

[spacepirate-x.livejournal.com]

is there a jury in this country that would convict me if I killed her right now?

Not a one. And if it looks dicey in the courtroom, just plead temporary insanity. I mean, it would be the truth.

[la-sonnambula.livejournal.com]

I'll provide you with an alibi.

[notyetxbroken.livejournal.com]

they're whistling? what are they whistling?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Nothing in particular--just a high shrieking note. You know, something to hurt his ears so he'll howl. Poor dog.

[whiski_sour]

What are they? Five? Kill them. Right now. Because if you don't, I will. Just on basic principle. I won't go to jail. No one would find the bodies.

Judas.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Sister is 18 and friend is 21. (I KNOW.)

[anna-sinistra.livejournal.com]

Not a jury in the world would convict for that.

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Where on earth is that delightful icon from?

[girlfrom10thave.livejournal.com]

Killing them would be justifiable homicide... especially if they're making the dog howl on purpose.

[ex-krazycat651.livejournal.com]

...and you haven't kicked them out of your room why?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I've been trying, man--it's really hard to make an 18 year old and a 21 year old do something they don't want to do, because they'd rather hang around and drive you insane.

[theendofallthat.livejournal.com]

well, they're trespassing on YOUR property, even if it is just your rule, and God Blessed Alabamaians don't look kindly tress'psters, no siree.

get yer shotgun and yer hound dog an' run 'em off!

(n.b.: I lived in Alabama, so I mock with love! love!)

[iczer6.livejournal.com]

The way I got my older brother to stop bugging me was the slam my palms against his ears HARD, they rang for hours and he hasn't bother me since.

Try it.


Icz

[jephimykes.livejournal.com]

Pay my airfare, and promise to love me forever

And I'll do it for you.

No bodies to find.

No juries to worry about.

Yes, I'm that good.

:-P

[servingsize.livejournal.com]

Eee! If they do go missing, I know whose LJ I'd encourage the investigators to search for answers...

[lylassandra.livejournal.com]

My father the cop would like to offer you his gun.

And while we're on the subject, remember: a friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a body.

[jephimykes.livejournal.com]

A friend will bail you out of jail.

A good friend will be sitting next to you saying "Damn.

"We fucked up."

[wirrrn.livejournal.com]

Hey,

My advice- set the dog *on* the sister and friend. No jury would convict you!

(disclaimer: Jury would probably actually convict you)

Wirrrn!

[practicesmiling.livejournal.com]

Really, I think it's more likely that you would get arrested if you didn't kill them. Sounds to me like a certain amount of well-timed face-stabbing might be in order.

[jettcat.livejournal.com]

If they are making the dog howl in pain, you can get off on the grounds of preventing animal cruelty...
just take a pic of the dog, that'll get you off by itself

[jephimykes.livejournal.com]

That...oddly...sounds like bestiality nasty.

Little Sisters Are ANNOYING

[misshallelujah.livejournal.com]

I won't tell if you kill her. Really.

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

For the low low price of $3, I will punch her in the neck. You can't beat those rates. Let's see her try to whistle after that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

*starts counting change*

[eruvadhril.livejournal.com]

Ok, I hate Gollum and all, but...
"We ought to wring her filthy little neck! Kill them! Kill them! Kill them both!"

[vladimirsever.livejournal.com]

I think your sister and her friend are highly amusing and hence adorable :)

[jazzchang.livejournal.com]

You support her so well through her moments of trial, too...

^^

[istoo.livejournal.com]

Hopefully your ordeal should be over by now, but could you have done the same to her, go on her bed and read her stuff? Though I guess you wanted her to leave your bed and that might not work. Is there anything that she does not like you doing, that would make her get up and try to stop you, like trying to borrow her clothes, or something blackmaily? Guess the calling for parental help doesn't work anymore. :)

[muffytaj.livejournal.com]

Bedrooms are sacred. None of my family are allowed in each other's bedrooms without explicit permission, punisable by beating the fuck out of the intruder.

I feel this should be a universal rule.

[incendialis.livejournal.com]

I came up with a new method: put all my clothes and shit on the floor. Anyone that tries to get in, without knowing the secret paths, will break their ankles.