(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Lots of randomosity:

Vladimir is gone again--to Susak to visit his mother this time. It's an island, so that's nice. I keep trying to go out and swim, but the moment I put on the sunscreen the sky darkens and thunder rolls. Then I go back inside, and half an hour later the sun's out. And now it turns out we've got algae coating the bottom of the deep end, so the pool's going to be out of commission for a week while we administer a chemical shock.

Last night we had another ordeal trying to order pizza. We generally order from Pizza Hut, Domino's, or Papa John's for a few weeks at a time, whichever kick we happen to be on at the moment. For whatever reason, the Pizza Hut that caters to my end of town just--ain't there. We called, and they were like, "Oh, that branch isn't working right now." Not working? What? So I figure it's either under renovation or it's going out of business, which doesn't make any sense. But we couldn't get another store to deliver to us (what?), so we were like, screw that, we're calling Domino's.

Yeah. That was a bad idea.

Medium cheese. Medium pepperoni. Both thin crust, both extra cheese. Five people, plenty of leftovers, this should not be a problem. They arrive: one large, one medium, both cheese. Both are overcooked, except that one also has an extra topping of burnination. We call back; they apologize; they bring back the "right" pizza. The "right" pizza is a medium something so blackened that we can't even tell what it is. Its charred remains set off the smoke alarm. My mother starts trying to figure out how early UPS opens to she can ship this third pizza to Domino's corporate headquarters. Tragedy is averted when the delivery guy returns again with a "beautiful" (this is my mother's wording here) large pepperoni pizza for our trouble.

Meanwhile, I'm trying to get through my library books, having finished Crimson Petal. In fact, I'd put off reading them for so long that I had to renew the lot before I cracked the first one--I couldn't even remember, besides Crimson Petal, what I'd checked out. As far as I can tell, I got that, Margaret Atwood's Alias Grace, and some old-school Louisa May Alcott thrillers, which are awesome. I tucked into a large collection of shorter stories last night--I think I got A Long Fatal Love Chase as a separate volume--and have gotten through about four or five of them. You know how Jo earns money in Little Women by writing really lurid stories about masked villains and contessas and poison and betrayal and stuff? Yeah. This is them. I mean, if you go in with your Serious Student of Literature hat on, you end up saying, "Well, shpfff, that ending just came out of nowhere, and you could see the whole 'Hindoo' plot coming from page one, and the whole thing is just melodrama to the max," but--dude, those are the conventions of the genre. That's what I'm telling you: in terms of Gothic melodrama, it's good stuff.

(I know Alias Grace is a much better, quality piece of literature, but Crimson Petal took over my life for nearly a week, and I need to get some work done before I surrender to a book like that for a while.)

Saw the greatest comeback ever on JournalFen yesterday: "If you'd read any of my books, you'd know that." Like, seriously, we should all go around saying that. It's even funnier if you don't have any books published. I want an icon that says that (and as soon as I find a picture of a snippy enough librarian, I'll make one).

Speaking of JournalFen, I have decided that my fluffybunny pagan name is going to be either Pewter Marmotseal or Golden Pandamouse. (The general formula for making one, we have decided, is to pick either a metal or an element off the periodic table--clearly, there is some overlap--for your first name and then squeeze two random animals together for your surname. Silver Ravenwolf, of course, is the ideal. In the game that we played, I think I was proudest of "Bismuth Dolphincow" and "Ununquadium Tigertit.")

Also: This is so true.

Mugglenet's caption contest strikes again. Eh, not worrying about it anymore, so if someone else does it, don't tell me.

Who'd I steal this from? puliqueen, I think. Choose a band or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:

Tori Amos (covers are fair game, sez I)

Are you female or male: girl
Describe yourself: strange little girl
How do some people feel about you: heart of gold (alternative: cruel)
How do you feel about yourself: pretty good year
Describe where you want to be: in the springtime of his voodoo
Describe what you want to be: happy phantom
Describe how you live: glory of the 80's
Describe how you love: spring haze
Share a few words of wisdom: I don't like Mondays


I'm going to try something new--I think buneater does this on her entries, or something like it. Basically, if I update one of my crazy godforsaken sites, I'm going to put a little link/tag at the bottom of the entry. This'll be most useful for the weblog and--when I can get back to it--the Digest, I think.

Comments

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Re: the pizza: Do you have some kind of crazypeople magnet on you? I'm thinking the overpersistent doorbell evangelists, I'm thinking Tyrell and his competing girlfriends, and I have a feeling I'm not remembering a lot more I've read about. Yow.

BUT!

[shoukinkasegi.livejournal.com]

Re: BUT!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hmm, I dunno. Maybe I wasn't listening to it clearly enough--I always just sort of thought it was a "When I'm dead, I won't care what anyone thinks, whee!" thing. Just sort of an interesting rethinking of what it's like to be a ghost--not necessarily the speaker saying she was going to kill herself to speed that process up. But then again, I don't know.

Re: BUT!

[takekammuri.livejournal.com]

Incidentally and completely unrelated. I went to a school called Occidental, nicknamed Oxy. Whenever i would say 'oxymoron', people would frown. Then i'd simply have to frown back.

[zenzicube.livejournal.com]

Y'all were cracking me up on that otf_wank thread. (I'm an FW lurker. :P)

[madusa.livejournal.com]

It's a global phenomenon then, Domino's serving charred goo. We'd ordered veggie and cottage cheese and sat there, staring, cause we just couldn't bring ourselves to eat it.

Glad to know you'll be reading(?)Alias Grace. Have you read "The Handmaid's Tale" by any chance?
Louisa May Alcott wrote thrillers? o_O wow.

And yeah, methinks me's gonna be Xenon Zebraass.

[missdiane.livejournal.com]

Cottage cheese? On pizza?

*mind . just . boggles *

*keanuesque*

whoa....

[sodafiend.livejournal.com]

Ricotta is good as well. Delicious!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah--in fact, I think Handmaid's the only other book of hers I'd read. I had to read it in one sitting, couldn't sleep, which is why I think I've been reluctant to read more of her books. Not because they wouldn't be good, but--because I'm afraid they'd suck me in and I wouldn't get anything else done.

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

"Uranium Donkeyferret" made me squirt Pepsi out my nose. "John Gabriel's Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory" made me do it again.

...

Carbonation in your nasal passages hurts.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Awww. *pats*

[lilgoala.livejournal.com]

*snuffle snuffle*

[adinasauce.livejournal.com]

*declares self Copper Wildebeast Emu, flits off into sunset*

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

Gah! I'd just like to finish Crimson Petal, period. Even if the ending (or lack thereof) sucks. Unfortunately I haven't been able to tackle the book since I can only read it in drips and drops at work I am no longer allowed to read at work at all ever and I will obey this command to the letter because I am a loyal employee. Mm-hmm. That's right. Loyal and dutiful.

[ohgeens.livejournal.com]

Ununquadium Tigertit made me laugh so hard that I actually choked on my laugh. I didn't even know that could happen until now.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

What, like Iridium PlanarianVervet or something? :)

[tiye.livejournal.com]

Yttrium Servalrotifer!

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

*snerk* My new name is Platinum Newtduck :D I love reading otf_wank, it always cheers me up.

I guess it's a good thing we never order pizza; we just buy it frozen ;)

(except that one time when my dad put the cardboard thing in the over with the pizza on it. But, we don't talk about that...)

[fba.livejournal.com]

I have Margaret Atwood issues - she keeps trying to claim that she doesn't write Science Fiction, she write Speculative Fiction. All fiction is speculative you looney woman!

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I admit, that bugs a little--I've heard of her saying that before. You know, like it's so terrible to write science fiction. (I was a huuuuuge book snob in my teens, but somehow actually going to college taught me to appreciate the value of good storytelling and, y'know, an actual plot.)

[madusa.livejournal.com]

Oh I didn't know that. I admit I'm a huge fan of her works, but one can't categorise one's work like that..
And is "The Handmaid's Tale", pray, a Victorian Romance?? :p Or perhaps "Oryx and Crake"?
err, for my ignorant mind, what is Speculative Fiction?

[fba.livejournal.com]

I'd say that 'The Handmaiden's Tale' is science fiction - just because it doesn't have robots and spaceships doesn't mean it isn't.

I think the reason she tries to distance herself from genre is because she doesn't want to be pigeon-holed - which is fair enough - but she just ends up coming across as a lit-snob to my mind.

err, for my ignorant mind, what is Speculative Fiction?

Which is kinda my point. All fiction is speculative (ultimately it starts from a 'What if.....?').

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

I mean, if you go in with your Serious Student of Literature hat on, you end up saying, "Well, shpfff, that ending just came out of nowhere, and you could see the whole 'Hindoo' plot coming from page one, and the whole thing is just melodrama to the max," but--dude, those are the conventions of the genre. That's what I'm telling you: in terms of Gothic melodrama, it's good stuff.

Y'know, I find that putting on the Serious Student of Literature hat can really suck the fun out of a lot of novels. Some of my favorites are ones I normally wouldn't have admitted liking in grad school, except everyone KNEW I was That Girl studying the British Gothic novel and therefore totally dug on the conventions. Seriously, for Gothic conventions, I'm not sure anyone beats out Radcliffe. Oy.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

For serious on the Radcliffe. You know, if you really love Gothic conventions, though, you just can't get any trashier better than George Lippard. Dig up one of his books--I'm still trying to get hold of the one set in New York, but the Philadelphia one, something about "The Monks of Monk-hall," is just freakin' awesome. It's like 1830s city-reformer porn, and everyone is secretly someone's daughter or locked in a tower or committing adultery or forgery or incest or something. The writing's terrible, but it's worth it for sheer entertainment value.

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

...You're kidding me. How did I MISS this? (Actually, I think I missed it because I tend to have this teensy weensy unfair bias against American writers. I'm getting better (and I'm thinking Lippard might totally help that).

Seriously though, it sounds totally reminiscent of Matthew Lewis' The Monk where you've got rampant homoeroticism, incest, rape, more incest, a little more rape, and a healthy smattering of unrequited lust lurve.

Oh, and totally set in Madrid, cause, you know, those Spaniards are totally incorrigible.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Hardly anyone's heard of Lippard these days--I read the book in a class on "the literature of antebellum reform," which sounds dry, but then you get to read stuff like... well, Lippard. I'm having a hell of a time finding his New York book, and not only that, but writing a paper on the Philadelphia book was well-nigh impossible because no one else had heard of him, either. But if you like Gothic, it's so worth it. (My class kept a running tally of how many times "heaving bosom" was mentioned.)

(The Monk sounds AWESOME.)

[w0rdinista.livejournal.com]

The Monk is awesome. You've got Radcliffe, who wrote a sort of "Scooby Doo" Gothic where the ghosts and demons and whatnot were really some guy who would've gotten away with it all, too, if not for those nosy kids --err... nosy stock Gothic hero and heroine.

But The Monk... The supernatural is ACTUALLY supernatural. Here's the snippet on the back of my copy (Oxford World's Classics):

Set in the sinister monastry of the Capuchins in Madrid, The Monk is a violent tale of ambition, murder, and incest. The struggle between maintaining monastic vows and fulfilling personal ambitions leads its main character, the monk Ambrosio, to temptation and the breaking of his vows, then to sexual obsession and rape, and finally to murder in order to conceal his guilt.

So, yeah. No "heaving bosoms" per se, but serious monklust.

BTW - Alibris is great for out of print books, if you've not checked there yet.

[torificus.livejournal.com]

Right. That's it. Next time I make something up in order to win an argument, and I'm getting called for it, "If you'd read any of my books, you'd know that. *eyeroll of exasperation*"

Huzzah

Margaret Atwood stuff

[(Anonymous)]

Have you read her reply to blurbs requests?
http://www.owtoad.com/blurbs.html

Also, this wonderful essay on how she became a poet:
http://www.owtoad.com/writingpoetry.html

The day I became a poet was a sunny day of no particular ominousness. I was walking across the football field, not because I was sports-minded or had plans to smoke a cigarette behind the field house – the only other reason for going there – but because this was my normal way home from school. I was scuttling along in my usual furtive way, suspecting no ill, when a large invisible thumb descended from the sky and pressed down on the top of my head. A poem formed. It was quite a gloomy poem: the poems of the young usually are. It was a gift, this poem – a gift from an anonymous donor, and, as such, both exciting and sisnister at the same time.

-Andy Perrin

[alitaorg.livejournal.com]

happy phantom is the bestest song ever!

i love it. such a great message.

[wock.livejournal.com]

Can I be Tungsten AmeobaBat?

Or maybe Gallium Frogbeaver!

Carbon Dogworm... Xenon Clamskipper....

Uranium SpringtailEchidna!

Re: Piizza places and the terrible work ethic of modern youth

[sodafiend.livejournal.com]

[katiefoolery.livejournal.com]

Yes! My insidious influence will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! I mean: glad I could help.

[edda.livejournal.com]

Saw the greatest comeback ever on JournalFen yesterday: "If you'd read any of my books, you'd know that." Like, seriously, we should all go around saying that. It's even funnier if you don't have any books published. I want an icon that says that (and as soon as I find a picture of a snippy enough librarian, I'll make one).

I must remember to say this to people.

Alias Grace was quite good, I read it a ways back. Ooh, now you've got me wanting to read it again. And for interesting steampunk, you might like one by Ian McSomebody called The Light Ages. Unless you're where I heard about it first, in which case never mind.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Actually, you read my mind--I am looking for steampunk, if only to see what other people are doing. I have this nervous inclination to throw around random inventions in the background ("Oh, look! A steam-powered boot scraper!"), and that's probably just clutter.

Domino's

[christigilly.livejournal.com]

I actually work for Dominoe's (though not in your city, sadly enough) and I apologize for your horrid experience. I've NEVER seen something screwed up as bad as what you are describing (which might relieve you or not, depending on how you look at it). I'm a "delivery specialist", which basically means I get to drive around real fast listening to my cd's and I get paid for it : O)


Oh, and a special announcement straight from your customer service representative.
TIP YOUR DELIVERY PERSON ACCORDING TO NORMAL STANDARDS (10% if the service is normal, 15% if it's good, 20% and up if it's great) EVEN IF THE ORDER IS MESSED UP (unless it's a situation like Cleolinda's) BECAUSE IT'S NOT NECESSARILY THEIR FAULT THAT IT'S WRONG.

Ahem, OK I'm done.

Re: Domino's

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Our delivery guy was really nice--Brandon, my mom checked for his name--and wasn't the problem, bless his heart. As for the store itself, they apologized even as they were taking our order and told us that some fool had called in an order for 50 (!) pizzas, so things were a little crazy around the place that night. The pizzas actually came early. What I can't figure out is who actually would have put a pizza that burnt into a box in the first place. I mean, it doesn't matter how fast it comes if you can't eat it.

Re: Domino's

[sodafiend.livejournal.com]

I tipped twenty-six percent last night to my Pizza Hut driver.

[yarha.livejournal.com]

The 'noble' gases make 'Superhero' names, tarred with the Marvel brush ever since Superman stole krypton. :p I mean, there's helium, heon, argon, krypton, xenon, and radon, which all have a coolish let-me-leap-into-this-handy-phonebooth (phonebook?) appeal.

On the other end of things, if one animal is multisyllabic, it seems smoother to have the other monosyllabic. Prolly 'cause of some deep root in the Indo-European proto-language, or possibly not. :p Hence:

Xenon Ferretsprat :)

Kinda like 'Yasser Arafat'. Hm. I've invented a new nickname! Too bad the rules don't allow more lattitude, or it could be 'Gasser Ferretsprat'. No, I am not making 'sprat' up. (http://www.webster.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?book=Dictionary&va=sprat)

That's a bit rough to say three times fast.

Yarha, Phat Lute or Sprat Newt?

[ms-cucumber.livejournal.com]

Selenium Falconfish

(falcon and fish are legimitimate last names in Italian: Falco and Pesci. hee hee)

[mokeyhokey.livejournal.com]

Cleo, is your mom actually going to send the charred pizza to Domino's HQ? Because that? Would be awesome.

And yay for the element + animal names! I now have new inspiration for coming up with a Yahoo ID.

Joined in the fight

[calistakaufman.livejournal.com]

Dunno how well this will go over, just I've decided to join in your fight... with cleverly made icons. Yeehaw! Take THAT, mugglenet!

WHO'S WITH ME?!

*crickets chirp, grasshoppers violin, squirrels ..uh.. fly away...*

ps. I've made others. Isn't that scary? Don't mind if I do?

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

Couldn't help it:

Americium Hagfishnakedmolerat.