(no subject)

[cleolinda]

Wow... I'm not sure I believe that just happened. I'm sleeping in--yeah, I got back from New Orleans all right yesterday afternoon; more on that later--and the doorbell rings. Now, I've gotten dressed and gone back to bed because the electrician is coming to blah blah blah, but damn if I'm not sleeping until he gets here. So I go downstairs.

One of the more unfortunate features of our house is that we have two high, narrow vertical windows on either side of the door. Which is fine, if the blinds are down. But usually they're not. And by "usually" I mean "particularly when I really, really need them to be." So the two blonde, fortyish women on the other side of the door see me coming down the stairs before I see them, and I'm busted. Can't run away at this point. But--you know, maybe they're friends of my mother's? I have no idea. (Keep in mind that I ended up moving back home after college and haven't gotten off my ass and moved out yet. More on that also, but my point is, just because I don't know who someone at the door is doesn't mean they don't have a reason to be there.) But they're here for some reason, so I open the door.

Would I like to know more about the Bible? Awww, hell.

I ended up nodding and smiling and taking two tracts from them and I am so sorry, but I was on the phone when you got here and I really need to get back to that--in fact, it's a long distance call (TO SLEEP) but thank you, etc., etc.

The reason I'm so stunned is because that's the first time in my relatively brief life that I've ever dealt with door-to-door religion shills. I've always lived deep in the suburbs, and at the moment live on a cul-de-sac where people by definition can't just wander through (on account of the street, y'know, ending right there), and really, it's just totally not the kind of thing I expect. Mostly because I usually never answer the door. I am thinking I may return to that policy.

P.S. The Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania would like you to know that you do, in fact, have an immortal spirit. I really wish they'd had some Jack Chick tracts to give out. Those would have been awesome.

Comments

[ladyortyger.livejournal.com]

Oh god, the Chick tracts.. *eyeroll*

We have a big ol' NO SOLICITATION sign on our vertical windows :)

They ring, they see it, they almost always leave.

[meredith-mae.livejournal.com]

My dad's crazy aunt put up a sign that said, "No Jehovah's Witnesses allowed," in her front window. My mom was pretty sure that was illegal, but again, the woman was about 82 and really kooky.

[musikologie.livejournal.com]

::blinks:: It's the first time you been accosted by religion salesmen? They come to our house at least 3 times a year. (Man, Jehovah's Witnesses are persistent!!) You are a lucky bugger. But we do get free stuff. One group gave us glow-in-the-dark rosaries. No joke.

[lacrimaeveneris.livejournal.com]

...glow in the dark rosaries?

[meredith-mae.livejournal.com]

My roommate used ot be a Jehovah's Witness. Yeah, she used to go knock on peoples' doors. Before I met her, mind you, or she probably wouldn't be my roommate. Not that there's anything wrong with religion, but I'd like to know the statistics of people actually converted and/or enticed to become a christian through these people. And what if you already are but you go to a different church? Isn't that good enough for them? Also... 10 am isn't the best time, because if you happen to be home and not sleeping, you're probably doing something else.

In other news, my friend has a friend who has on his cell phone VOICE MAIL message something like, "Hi, this is Riley. Sorry I'm not available to pick up the phone, but please leave a message. Also, salvation is available through your lord and savior jesus christ. If you would like more information, please leave a message. Beep."

[tiwonge.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Watchtower = Jehova's Witness.

[theantijoss.livejournal.com]

I really wish they'd had some Jack Chick tracts to give out. Those would have been awesome.

Oh, Chick's Tracts are the BEST! I used to collect them in college. I'm particularly fond of the Witchcraft, Halloween, and Rock N Roll series, myself. *G*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

The D&D one is hysterical. "Oh no! My elven magic user got killed! NOW I MUST HANG MYSELF FROM THE CEILING!"

[punkiejeannien.livejournal.com]

dude, I live on a dead end street surrounded by busy highwayish streets... we get Jehovas' Witnesses all the friggin time

[scoots-honor.livejournal.com]

next time just howl
"JESUS SAVES!"
and shut the door.

[heinous_bitca.livejournal.com]

Jesus saves, but the elder gods invest.

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

I used to get them about once a month. Until I started answering the door naked.

Evidently, my nudity is a work of Satan.

This is one of those times where I wish I was just being sarcastic. It was one of those things that seemed like a good idea at the time. And hey--it worked! If bill collectors went door-to-door, I could just max my credit cards and never pay them back. My naked is just that evil.

0_o

[catinatuxsurfin.livejournal.com]

Naked? haha...dangly parts. =_=

[meglimir.livejournal.com]

Our pastor had a funny story last Sunday about dealing with a couple of door-to-door religion peddlers. He invited them in for religious debate, which they declined, but stood in the doorway proselytizing for a while. He didn't let on he's a pastor LOL.

[meredith-mae.livejournal.com]

That's funny, but it doesn't always work. IF you seem receptive to their ideas, or want to talk about religion, they leave you the paphlets and stuff, but then they mark you down as something positive, and come back AGAIN. My friend, who was interested in learning more about christianity, got a few JWs and said she had told them she was interested in religion. My roommate told her, "Uh-oh, that's not good. Now they'll try to get you to go to a meeting, and bring your friends and stuff."

[thetidebreaks.livejournal.com]

I love it when door to door religion salesman come. I enjoy either scaring them or basically mouthing off. Because, well, I don't appreciate them coming in the morning and trying to push their religion on me. I've tried being nice and they don't get it. -_-

Friggen idiots. Meh.

[vivian-shaw.livejournal.com]

I just kindly explain that I'm a Satanist and tell them to have a nice day. That, or answer the door naked.

[kittygopounce.livejournal.com]

One of my religion studies teachers at high school used to talk about Jehovah's Witness doorknockers and other Bible ... how do you Americans say it ... thumpers? We call'em Biblebashers (as in they bash the door down with it to tell you the oh-so-good news). And how to deal with them, and I was always bemused by it because I'd never encountered any in my life, at least, not door-knocking in my area.

Anyway, my luck was short-lived, since the next few years, the JW's visited three times, and they'd all drive in, park on the vacant block opposite my house and then would spread out to do ... whatever it is they are do when door-knocking. Like giving pamphlets to the people who wouldn't let them in (me).

Oh! And once, once I came across an anti-Catholic pamphlet on the bus. It was talking about how Catholicism is evil, and really a working of the devil and how we should all come "back to the fold" in the true religion of God. Except it didn't say what the true religion was.

Well-handled, Cleo :) I should keep that one in mind for next time.

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

Heh, yes, all us Catholics are teh eeeeevil because the Vatican likes Harry Potter. Since, you know, Jo Rowling is possessed by the devil and all. Mwhahahaha, bow down to us, the Evil Catholics! That's what the homily is REALLY about on Sunday!

[jennnk.livejournal.com]

i tell them i'm jewish. they don't come back. sometimes other people will come, but as soon as they hear i'm jewish they don't come back, either.

works for JWs AND mormons. hooray.

p.s. i'm not REALLY jewish.

Also not Jewish...

[soberloki.livejournal.com]

OMG... I did that once, and they wanted to know about Judaism. So I had to make up some crap based on what I'd seen on TV. It worked, but I don't think I'll do it again. Too easy to get caught out, I felt like an idiot. But a very lucky idiot.

[ulicqel-droma.livejournal.com]

*grumble* Bloody Watch Tower fanatics giving the rest of us a bad name... I imagine your standard Muslims hate al-Quaida just as much as we hate ppl like this. They give Jesus and His followers such a bad name.

Witnessing is one thing. Trying to intimidate, strong-arm or otherwise coerce people to follow Jesus is another. Turning your life over to Christ is a personal decision, and while you can guide someone, they should start on the path themselves, without prompting, or the whole thing is false. That's my opinion, anyway.

But answering the door nude usually helps. ;) That, or if they ask "Have you found Jesus?" answer "No, not yet, I'm sure I still have some peices of him under the couch though, come on in!" Start rambling about wood chippers and chainsaws, and watch 'em run, hehe.

[kittygopounce.livejournal.com]

*nods* I know a couple of very nice Jehovah's Witnesses, and some very nice Muslims, and yes they do often feel that way about the fanatics :)

You've got a nice policy there on letting people choose to start on the path to God. I like that :)

They're evil i tell you..

[fluffyfran.livejournal.com]

Interesting...Bloody JWs.

When i was 12 i was in the house on my own and the doorbell rang; i ran down the stairs to answer it, tripped and went flying and managed to bruise my coxix (sp???) which hurt for about 4 years every time i sat down and even 9 years on it's still dodgy from time to time. And who was at the door?? Bloody jehovah's witnesses.

They've not been back since after the torrent of abuse i gave them for 'crippling me'. I think i may have said very bad things (especially for a twelve year old, even one in a lot of pain) which may have included telling them that they were retarded expeletives, to roast in hell and that if they dared to send their ugly kids up to my door again i'd beat them to death mercilessly with rolled up copies of watchtower...that kind of thing. I'm not even that ashamed to be honest. Bad bad people.

Re: They're evil i tell you..

[catinatuxsurfin.livejournal.com]

you bruised your....what now? 0_o

[gracefallson-me.livejournal.com]

awww, welcome to what the rest of us have come in contact with. i hate it when they come b/c i mean they got 12 year olds doin it with them. i don't have the heart to say, i know about God and Jesus and i'm not interested in your point of view. but anyway, sorry you had to deal with that. good luck in the future when they come back. and beleive me, THEY WILL.

[fluffyfran.livejournal.com]

They bring their kids cos less people will swear at them. I say go for it :p

This is probably offensive, but I have to say it.

[sodafiend.livejournal.com]

Two Mormon dudes came to our front door. Skinny, blonde, pimply. My sister dropped her bathtowel, and asked them if they wanted to fuck. They ran like hell.

If somebody did that to me, well, I'd just ask God to forgive me for who I was about to do. (Obviously, not my sister!!)

Re: This is probably offensive, but I have to say it.

[edda.livejournal.com]

I've often wondered how many of those clean-cut little Mormon boys get dragged inside by lonely housewives...and how many of them are hoping for that to happen. I imagine they travel in pairs to forestall just such an occurrence, but still...

My grandmother always said no to door-knockers, but if it was summer she'd give them a can of Coke if they were nice.

[arayuldaiel.livejournal.com]

Church people came to my house yesterday! I live in a fairly small town and a church is about 2 blocks from the apartment complex I live in. Yeah, you're starting to sympathize with me.

So, yesterday they come a'knockin' on the door, like they do about every two weeks, 'Hello, we're with the Family of Faith church around the corner, would you like to know more about it?' 'No thanks, we're Catholic, we go to St. Mary's, thank you anyway...' 'Is your mother home?' 'Nope, babysitting my brother...' 'Aah, God bless the babysitters!' etc etc...

Around Christmas time they go around giving everyone cookies, though, so they're good for some things. :P

[kayu.livejournal.com]

I love your icon! hahaha

[telophase.livejournal.com]

My mother has this amazing way of freaking out people distributing religious pamphlets door-to-door. She's polite, takes the material ... and insists on paying them for it. I witnessed her press $5 on two Jehovah's Witnesses who were making their way down our road, which weirded them out considerably, and they enver returned.

[fanofall.livejournal.com]

Answer the door with a cigarette and some booze. That'll send them right off.

What? No, I have no personal experience with that suggestion, why do you ask? ;-)

[angel-ab0ve-me.livejournal.com]

Hey. I saw your community m15m and I joined. I was just making sure that's ok and everything because I don't know how they do things over here at livejournal. It said something about posting access as well, so i was wondering how i could get posting access for comments. Because I'm over at greatestjournal, I don't use livejournal often. But I do come back to check for updates and things like that. I'm not sure If i was supposed to comment you or contact you some other way, but I decided this was the simplest way. Sorry if I bothered you, Cristina

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

No, no, that's fine. It's basically supposed to work exactly like this journal, only with a lot more room to friend people back so they can read locked entries (that's basically what joining the comm is). I wish they'd let me change what the default message says, because posting access just means for new entries, which I take care of--everyone has commenting access, so you ought to be fine. Thanks for joining! :)

[kayu.livejournal.com]

eep.
the last time those people came 'round here, my sister and I were alone, so I answered (big mistake) and they were so keen on talking to us about God and stuff.. I stood out there listening to their babbles for 1/2 an hour because one lady has grabbing my arm and wouldn't let go until she'd make arrangements for coming the following week on saturday at 9 o_O. needless to say, we went out that weekend...

Wow, you're very nice.

[(Anonymous)]

Couldn't you have just said I'm sorry, but no?
Well, actually, my dad has this thing with arguing with the door-to-door religion people. He spent two whole hours once standing at the door, pointing out all the reasons why he thinks the tracts are wrong. It was kind of funny.
Oh well. I admire these people for their dedication, but of course they can get annoying.

[elbiesee.livejournal.com]

Greetings from the Bible Belt! It's not just Jehovah's Witnesses... I got Southern Baptists trying to save me because I'm a single mom. (Actually, I'm divorced, spank you very much.) Now that the fiance's living with me, they say I'm living in sin.

I say, if they're so concerned about God's children, they'll cut out building on their churches and start feeding/clothing/sheltering Those Worse Than Us. But apparently, according to them, God likes his churches to be megaplexes of worship. Makes ya mildly ill.

Anybody asks me what church I go to, I tell them I have my own altar set up at home, so I can worship whenever I wanna. Then they tend to back away rather quickly...

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yar. I grew up Southern Baptist, in a *shrug* kinda way--haven't been to church in years--and I so need to write an entry on that. My church is mostly an upper middle class social snobbery kind of thing, no evangelism, but I was officially off Baptists when I started hearing about the things church leaders were discussing at conventions. Like all women being homemakers and new proposals to go evangelize Jews. Um, NO.

[quizzicalsphinx.livejournal.com]

We got those guys at my workplace the other day. Poor Pelu and I just trying to earn a buck of a Sunday morning, and the Witnesses descended upon us in a mini-van. And they stayed for-EV-er.

I told 'em that I would take their tract on the condition that they tell me where they worked, because on my next off-day I was going to their place of business to tell them what-all I thought about Jesus. They packed up quickly after that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

BWAH. That's awesome.

[slammerkinbabe.livejournal.com]

Yep, beentheredonethat. What was even more fun was the day I was walking through the Boston Commons and got accosted by an honest-to-God certified evangelical tent revival. I stopped to stare with that inevitable train-wreck fascination, at which several people with vague but persistent body odor and no awareness of the concept of "personal space" came over and began converting me. They only let me go after I agreed that I would come back tomorrow with my husband. (My internal thought process, of course, ran to "I'd love to bring my husband to meet y'all, but just so you know, she might kick you in the shins.")

Strange world.

[meredith-mae.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of my friend who was accosted by an army recruiter in the mall. He asked my friend what he wanted to do. My friend said, "I want to be a writer." The recruiter said the army has lots of communication positions, and he said, "No, I just want to write." The recruiter then looked at his friend. His friend said, "I'm gay, does the army have a position for me?" The recruiter stumbled over his words and backed away slowly.