Compocalypse '09: ARE YOU FOR REAL

[cleolinda]

So the laptop comes in. It's thunderous, I feel like shit, I wait until tonight to deal with it.

I plug it in (via the uninterrupted power source thing, even).

It goes to the DELL screen, with F2 Setup/F12 Boot Options at the bottom.

It goes no further.

I sit and wait.

It goes no further.

Pushing F2 and F12 does nothing.

It goes no further.

I call Dell.

I wait seven minutes while a woman's voice cheerfully informs me that there are some super-great support services on the Dell site that I can't access because I CAN'T FUCKING BOOT THE COMPUTER UP.

I nearly hang myself with the battery cord.

I get a tech guy with a very thick Indian accent whom I can hardly understand (note: I am perfectly cool with all of this up to "whom I can hardly understand"). But I am able to understand this much:

"I see from your express service code that you have bought this from The Best Buy. You will need to take this laptop back to them and you will need to ask for a refund because you will need the new motherboard."

ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL

It's not the computer. It's not. It can't be. It's this fucking house. It's got to be. I'm going to take it downstairs to a different outlet tomorrow and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different HOUSE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CITY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different STATE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different COUNTRY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CONTINENT and if that doesn't work SO HELP ME JESUS CHRIST I WILL TAKE IT TO ANOTHER SOLAR SYSTEM, YOU CANNOT FUCKING KEEP ME DOWN.

Comments

[kouredios.livejournal.com]

:(

It has to be the house. It has to be.

[kerri]

!!! Omg. I'm so sorry about all of this! :(

[particle-person.livejournal.com]

HOLY SHIT!

[angeleyesjg24.livejournal.com]

My God. Cleo, I am so sorry. This is just---epic badness with the computer.

*hugs*

[morning-star82.livejournal.com]

Just...wow. I'm so, so sorry this is still happening to you.

[shenniefish.livejournal.com]

That is just silly and ridiculous. I've had trouble with electronics before, but this is like there is a conspiracy against you or something. If the continent issue comes up, Australia is lovely at this time of year. :D

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

I think you need to sacrifice a virgin to the Gods of Tech.

[r-a-black.livejournal.com]

So.. I think we can find a pretty cheap exorcism kit for your house online...

[sigma7.livejournal.com]

Oh Jesus God.

Scream. Start screaming now. Go to Best Buy. Do not stop screaming until you are satisfied.

Are you sure you haven't been surreptitiously stalked by a reality TV show at some point? Because this seems more like a psychological exercise than a plausible chain of events, even for the most masochistic interpretations of chaos theory.

That's horrifying.

[dakiwiboid.livejournal.com]

I hope it boots up somewhere else.

[ktbass.livejournal.com]

Someone on my twitter said their husband sent an angry letter to Michael Dell himself. Said person now has a new laptop. Maybe get your mom to dictate the email?

Computer issues are some of the most frustrating things ever, and I feel like breathing into a paper bag just reading about yours. I hope it all rights itself soon.

[bgmaster.livejournal.com]

That's absurd.

Seriously, at this point, you should have someone build you a new computer out of parts from Frys or Newegg or something. Apparently every store-bought computer in existence explodes upon contact with your electronic outlets.

[misachan.livejournal.com]

I do not fucking believe this. I think the Winchesters need to come and exorcise your house.

[dachelle.livejournal.com]

Oh no!

[plazmah.livejournal.com]

My god.

Cleo, if there is a Computer God somewhere out there, it clearly doesn't like you. D:

[callmesyd.livejournal.com]

what the christ

GERALD. HELP US, GERALD.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Babe? I'm tellin ya - skip best buy, order straight from Dell.And add in an inhome service thingie to the warranty. (hell, apply for Dell credit, spread out the cost.)

I swear, Best Buy gets faulty products. Go to the source.

[snapdragon76.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. GOD!!!

There must be a computer jinx somewhere. This is utterly insane!

I feel for you Cleo. I hope this all gets sorted out for you. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.

[bluebren.livejournal.com]

!!!!!!!!!!!

*PROTECTIVE HUGS*

[nochi_san.livejournal.com]

That...that's...I...wow.

*offers cookies*

[bkwyrm.livejournal.com]

Depending on where you live, I can probably find you an exorcist?

[dramaturgca.livejournal.com]

Good Lord.

Have you considered exorcism? And/or leaving some food and wine out for what must be a hell of an angry ghost?

[calliopecassin.livejournal.com]

Sending happy thoughts your way! What a catastrophe...it's a bit farcical at this point, really.

[ccl.livejournal.com]

I have to agree...it's gotta be the house. And for what it's worth, I was saving your afghan for your birthday at Christmas, but I'm thinking after the Compocalypse you could really use it now. So it's been bumped to my highest priority project.

Words can't express how sorry I am for all you're going through honey. When you said you were getting a Studio I was thrilled because that's what I'm using after my last compocalypse but this...is just beyond the imagination. You will have so much GOOD computer karma after this, assuming this compocalypse ever ends.

Sending wishes for a speedy resolution, hon.

[effronteaumonde.livejournal.com]

Holy fucking omg. I've never seen so much bad shit happen to one person in one sitting. You have my condolences and if Australia doesn't work out for you, Europe is hot as hell right now but you're welcome to try here (Germany) as well. I kind of want to send you my laptop just to get you going again... it's so depressing without you around the internets.