Compocalypse '09: ARE YOU FOR REAL

[cleolinda]

So the laptop comes in. It's thunderous, I feel like shit, I wait until tonight to deal with it.

I plug it in (via the uninterrupted power source thing, even).

It goes to the DELL screen, with F2 Setup/F12 Boot Options at the bottom.

It goes no further.

I sit and wait.

It goes no further.

Pushing F2 and F12 does nothing.

It goes no further.

I call Dell.

I wait seven minutes while a woman's voice cheerfully informs me that there are some super-great support services on the Dell site that I can't access because I CAN'T FUCKING BOOT THE COMPUTER UP.

I nearly hang myself with the battery cord.

I get a tech guy with a very thick Indian accent whom I can hardly understand (note: I am perfectly cool with all of this up to "whom I can hardly understand"). But I am able to understand this much:

"I see from your express service code that you have bought this from The Best Buy. You will need to take this laptop back to them and you will need to ask for a refund because you will need the new motherboard."

ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL

It's not the computer. It's not. It can't be. It's this fucking house. It's got to be. I'm going to take it downstairs to a different outlet tomorrow and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different HOUSE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CITY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different STATE and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different COUNTRY and if that doesn't work I will take it to a different CONTINENT and if that doesn't work SO HELP ME JESUS CHRIST I WILL TAKE IT TO ANOTHER SOLAR SYSTEM, YOU CANNOT FUCKING KEEP ME DOWN.

Comments

[echoingvista.livejournal.com]

Oh, my god, that is ridiculous. I cannot even. I'm so sorry, and I hope that eventually the curse ends.

[jade-sabre-301.livejournal.com]

joining the pages and pages of people saying WHAT THE HELL. I will cross lots and lots of fingers for a) figuring out the problem and b) coming out the other side with a functioning computer.

[ctina.livejournal.com]

This is the part of the horror movie where you know freaky shit's going down and start screaming, "JUST GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

[strife-caecus.livejournal.com]

Okay, now this is getting ludicrous! If and when you return the laptop and get the replacement, ask them to take the replacement out of the box and power it up on the spot. After three failed computers, you shouldn't have to leave the store until the laptop successfully boots into Windows.

Why, you may even write about it. On a different computer, of course.

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

One day -- not today, maybe -- this will be a funny story that you tell people to prove a point about how sometimes the unexpected can just keep happening.

[chellytastic.livejournal.com]

i send you internet hugs.

you deserve better.

i think you need to move.

[erinya.livejournal.com]

If I were you, I'd be blaming Best Buy. And making a huge stink about their products. Mom!Smash?

[jadesfire2.livejournal.com]

I think you should go back to the best buy, demand a discount on your FOURTH FUCKING COMPUTER, and make them set it up for you before you leave the store.

[lady-elessar.livejournal.com]

I hate Dell TS. They suck so bad. Otherwise I loved my laptop. Until it literally burned my lap. :(

I'm so sorry.

[bibliotech.livejournal.com]

Exactly what did you do to piss off the computer gods this badly?! This is unreal. You poor woman, I don't even know how you're coherent enough to type. I'd be stuck in the "screaming and banging my head against a wall" stage.

[shlupquack.livejournal.com]

I always feel bad about the tech support thing. I mean, I know you need a job, Mister Citizen of India, but I can't understand you.

Totally feel your pain there.

I got nuthin'

[jennnk.livejournal.com]

except e-hugs. and some liquor, but I'm in Oregon so it's of no use to you. so I give you cute.

[mo-chan.livejournal.com]

Talk about unbelievable! Maybe try to put a positive spin on it, like your ultra-bad computer problems mean that everyone else in the state is having ultra-good computer experiences? ..... I'll stop trying to force optimism on you now and just hope things work out. :(

[aymaera.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[enid-keaner.livejournal.com]

It could be the computer. I ordered a Studio 15 from Dell and when it arrived, the same thing happened. I had them send a new one, the same thing happened. I returned them, said "screw you" and went with another company.

[elbales]

Oh, Cleo, no. Not again. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this.

Oi, Universe. Cut it out. I AM NOT TELLING YOU AGAIN. SERIOUSLY, DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE.

[firegatka007.livejournal.com]

you should def take it back, and bec its a laptop, once u get the replacement turn it on at the store and make sure it works. also laptops generally arrive at least 50% charged so you shouldn't have needed to plug it in, which means it may or may not be the house.

return it, throw a bitch fit, and power up the next one at at the store, and plug it in at the store. if they say ur not allowed (which is complete bullshit) then take it to the geeksquad counter and say "turn it on, make this shit work or the entire internets will be here so fast to kill you" cuz honey if i was in the birminghamm area i would be on that managers ass by now, simply bec no one should have to deal with what you've dealt with.

good luck, im sending techie mojo for you (and the house too)

[ms-tate.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you have had to go through all of this.

[phoenix-down7.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's looking like some sort of unstable power surge. It seems there is something wrong with the circuit breaker in your house...and as a result your electricity may spike from the outlets and fry whatever motherboard your computers have.

Sucks.

[chili-das-schaf.livejournal.com]

Ack, I just read the whole Compocalypse and am so sorry!

But: We had the same thing with routers. Died one by one until we bought a multiple socket designed to block out power spikes. Since then, no router deaths.

[orexisbella.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry you are going through this shit. :(

[angelene.livejournal.com]

°_°

I am unutterably appalled by this situation.

I'm sorry if this has been mentioned before and/or at risk of sounding stupid, but... are you sure that it doesn't need to be booted from a disc (an installation CD, that is) the first time around? Or that there are settings in the BIOS that'd still need tweaking? Like, I dunno, the "boot from hard-disk" vs "boot from removable drive" option [ETA = forgot to mention, if the F2-12 keys won't work, have you tried pressing "del"?]? I've never dealt with pre-built machines before, so for me it was a natural course of action to switch the machine on and start from scratch -- I'd imagine that pre-built machines would come with all the basics set, though maybe... that's not the way it is? Hale, I don't know what (else) to say/think. =(

[kittybacklash.livejournal.com]

D=

[all-ephemera.livejournal.com]

This may have already been suggested, but at this point if it's something from your electrical wiring in your house it may be too late for this current Dell. The next one, I would try plugging in at Brett the Vet's or The Lovely Emily or the local goddamned library. Anywhere but on your street. My husband has been listening to this saga as I shout it out in "WTF!" tone, and he said, "Either she has the worst luck in history and a lot of old appliances going at the same time, or there's something seriously wrong with the electrical system in her house."

Lots of hugs and soothing cuddles, hun, I'm SO SORRY.

[saraidia.livejournal.com]

Cleo, that freaking sucks!! Have you tried using a power cord with surge protector on it?

Also, if it's a laptop out of the box, the thing has enough juice in it's battery to boot up without being plugged in.