Oscars, part 6

[cleolinda]

HELP HELP IT'S GOING SO FAST

Wow. Jessica Biel looks fantastic from the neck up, and then she's wearing some blousy drapy satin bedsheet horror, I don't even know. She's here to recap the Sci-Tech Awards Thingy, because she was the Hot Chick Consolation Prize Host they always throw to the tech guys who aren't "important" enough to be awarded on the show itself.

And... that was it. Commercials. YOU ASSHOLES! I HIT POST FOR THAT?

Movie commercial: Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx in The Soloist, a movie that looks like it was created in a lab to win Oscars.

We're back. It's the Apatow short film. It's... Seth Rogen and James Franco in Pineapple Express mode. They're going to watch all the movies that were nominated for an Oscar, except for The Love Guru, which they got instead of Slumdog Millionaire. They roll around laughing at Doubt and The Reader. Dollar bills are stapled to faces. Franco tries to make a move on Rogen during Milk. Janusz Kaminski and his two Oscars come and hang with them.

Please welcome! James Franco! Janusz Kaminski! And Seth Rogen!

Best Short Film, Live Action

Auf der Strecke (2007): Reto Caffi
Manon sur le bitume (2007): Elizabeth Marre, Olivier Pont
New Boy (2007): Steph Green, Tamara Anghie
Grisen (2008): Tivi Magnusson, Dorthe Warnø Høgh
Spielzeugland (2007): Jochen Alexander Freydank

"Spielzeugland" wins; Rogen laughs at Franco's enthusiastic pronunciation. I think an oncoming headache is sapping me of any sense of humor.

Next up: a once-in-a-lifetime performance! I imagine it will not involve Peter Gabriel!

Comments

[isca.livejournal.com]

I don't get Stoner comedy. But I DO get hot Seth Rogen. Mmmm...

[numbedtoe.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's just your headache. I'm just not really feeling it this year. I don't know why, but it feels like it's missing something.

[crescent-gaia.livejournal.com]

It doesn't feel...I don't know. We need Stewart back! Or Whoopi or somebody who is funny. There's too much singing, I feel.

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

MAL! What is this show?! Mal?!!! I will watch Castle!

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

ANYTHING WITH MAL IS GOOD.

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

The benefits of this being on ABC: Nathan Fillion is on my TV a lot.

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

WIN.

[sushixpack.livejournal.com]

Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx in The Soloist, a movie that looks like it was created in a lab to win Oscars.

My thoughts exactly.

[gtrout.livejournal.com]

Um, sudden musical number? What the hell is going on?

[katzies.livejournal.com]

Uhm? What is the point of this? Because Mamma Mia was successful?

[lilyofshalott]

Hugh.Jackman.in.Tails.

SQUEE!

[bumblebee-1983.livejournal.com]

::fans self::

::hands over fans and hoses::

;)

[weird-cowgirl.livejournal.com]

A tiny bit after the top hat popped out, did Hugh say "Brad Pitt" as part of his having to mention them 5 times in the course of the show, or whatever that joke was?

Also, Beyonce, WOW. I have no idea why we're having a musical montage, but she looks amazing.

ETA: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Amanda Seyfreid, and who's that other guy?

[smu.livejournal.com]

I think Brad tossed him the cane.

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

I love James Franco, but I have no explanation for Rogen's success. Not funny, not attractive, not a good actor, totally full of himself for no apparent reason. ::shrug:: I did smile at the Milk bit, though.

[swordmage.livejournal.com]

Rogen I find to be... hit or miss...

I kind of liked Zach and Miri. But then again, it's entirely possibly my love for Kevin Smith overrode everything else. *grin*

[bienegold.livejournal.com]

Why the FUCK can they not put down pronunciation guides on the award cards? I am SO HUMILIATED for all the foreign winners. It is just INEXCUSABLE.

[katzies.livejournal.com]

Spielzeugland isn't even all that hard!

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

Beyonce just does not get Broadway. She can't force me to care.

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

I don't really think Beyonce gets much outside of her realm, frankly. She does sing it like she's never seen a play in her life, really. It's like a Chinese actor speaking English lines they learned phonetically.

[melayka.livejournal.com]

Shit I can't even read these that fast, I have no idea how you're blogging it. DON'T KERSPLODE, GIRL! D:

[swordmage.livejournal.com]

Oh god, the high school musical kids - run away!

[marishna.livejournal.com]

My friend im'd me and asked why Biel had a towel on her dress. I said it was a napkin in case she got tipsy tonight so she wouldn't spill at dinner.

And I like the short version of Pineapple Express way more than the whole movie. Although I wasn't expecting that as the "short movie".

[bumblebee-1983.livejournal.com]

::snorfle::

The napkin comment so fits.

You win an Internet cookie.

[ppyajunebug.livejournal.com]

NO. YOU DON'T LET ZAC AND VANESSA STEP ON "MARIA". BACK AWAY FROM THE MUSICALS.

[gtrout.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[bumblebee-1983.livejournal.com]

OMG.

Beyonce?!? WTH? I HATE YOU.

Dear Hugh,

Your singing is seriously making me want a lapdance from you. All the while my boyfriend is watching the Oscars with me and getting jealous. ::fans self::

I swear, there's something in the water producing nice-looking, talented Aussies.

YOU ARE HOT HUGH. I WANT YOU.

Much love (and fanning),

ME

PS Slide all over the floor you want.

ZAC EFRON GO AWAY. You are ugly.

I'm kind of liking this montage. Mama Mia! HAHA!!! Moulin Rouge! Dreamgirls! Okay, the list goes on.

PRETTY.

::continues fanning herself::

[emmaorgana.livejournal.com]

Aside from Hugh Jackman in a tux, I really don't care about this musical number.

Oh lookie, it's over.

[rosewood39.livejournal.com]

true, he is all I car about in that, the rest could leave.

[scornedsaint.livejournal.com]

I like this year's ceremony's commitment to crack

[koritsimou.livejournal.com]

Right? If you're gonna go, go all the way.

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

Beyonce is beautiful, but holy fuck that was a terrible number.

[ironclad1609.livejournal.com]

I love Hugh to death but I sure hope the musical is not back. Unless he is in it with claws.

[kittenkatt.livejournal.com]

Oh, I am giggling at the idea of X-Men, the Musical

[leucocrystal]

Next up: a once-in-a-lifetime performance! I imagine it will not involve Peter Gabriel!

Someone, PLEASE, enlighten me as to why we had to suffer through that horrible mash-up performance, and not the musicians who were actually nominated? (Apologies, embittered Peter Gabriel fan talking.)

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

I love Jackman, but I'm with you.

[internal666.livejournal.com]

OH DEAR GOD STOP THIS MADNESS!

That... Was just painful. I think my ears exploded, wtf Beyonce?

[clodia-risa.livejournal.com]

Okay, I love the Tonys, but this is not the Tonys. Nor should it be. Quit trying so hard. I know you want to take advantage of Jackman, but seriously.

[chulacabra.livejournal.com]

The problem was that Beyonce and the rest of those knuckleheads don't have Hugh's chops. It could've been cute with people who can actually freakin' perform live.

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

Uh... was I the only one who enjoyed that number?

*cowers*

[skellington7d.livejournal.com]

I loved it! And I'm glad the musical is back.

[lottery.livejournal.com]

YES RE: THE MUSICAL BEING BACK. YES YES YES.

As a theatre geek, I know that number was specifically catered to people like me who can't wait a minute longer for the Tonys.

It wasn't the best, but I'll take it.

[isca.livejournal.com]

I loved the idea, but God, did Baz pull the songs out of a HAT? How random!