Let's take a break for some Twi-spam

[cleolinda]

Important note: LJ's going out tomorrow for a physical server move. Just in case, you might want to back up your journals with ljArchive. If you need to get hold of me for some kind of OMG LOOK AT THIS! reason, I'm on Twitter and Facebook (see sidebar), and you can get me at my Yahoo email (dailydigest @). I'm not going to assume that the cleolinda at livejournal.com email will work.

Meanwhile: 'Twilight' Fans Line Up Day Before Premiere. I'm not so much surprised that they did this as surprised that I didn't go, "Oh, it's Sunday afternoon, they must be setting up camp about now."

Twilight Movie Premiere Day Coverage. I was skimming quickly and initially read that last word as "carnage." These are not mutually exclusive concepts, though.

The Vampire of the Mall. Excellent NYT piece about the Philadelphia Hot Topic stop. And by "excellent" I mean "sad-making":

The smile was just a bit too much. A girl in a “Team Edward” shirt fell into the arms of her friend. “I can’t stand it!” she said.

... And when he did, the crowd didn’t see an actor. They saw Edward Cullen, the perfect boyfriend who just happens to live on blood.

... Mr. Pattinson, 22, said he had no idea what to make of his situation, about to meet thousands of teenage girls — and many of their mothers — who were flat-out in love with him. “It is bizarre,” he said. “People come from three states away and walk up to you trembling. I feel that I am at a disadvantage here because I can’t provide this mystical thing that they came for in the two seconds we have.”

... A young woman in a shirt emblazoned with the Cullen family crest spoke for many: “We just want to look at you.”

Speaking of the Cullen family crest again, I have decided that I want to make or find Jones family crest jewelry (or maybe design my own imaginary coat of arms), because I feel that it would be hilarious. You know, since my real name is so totally "Cleolinda Jones." And Jones is oh-so-rare a surname. Totally.

(Off topic: BEST COAT OF ARMS EVER.)

(More sad: "But criticism brought forth by a Web clip of an unannounced acoustic set at the Whisky a Go Go in Los Angeles last month has turned Mr. Pattinson off making music. 'I was so not ready for the scrutiny,' he said. 'I haven’t touched a guitar since. When you know you have to be good every time, you never want to do it again.' ")

Ashley Greene, Peter Facinelli, Billy Burke + Kellan Lutz (Twilight cast) release party pictures.

‘Twilight’ Star Cam Gigandet Is Having A ‘Five Star Day’; Cam Gigandet, Jena Malone in 'Five Star Day.'

Twilight Vampire Seen In Direct Sunlight [Snap Judgment]. It's just RPattz at LAX, calm down. If I find photographic evidence of actual in-movie Sparkle Motion, you will hear the ALERT ALERT ALERT from across the internets.

The USA Weekend Cover Story.

Vamp tale 'Twilight' seeks blockbuster bite; Sunday Discussion: Can Twilight Put Summit Entertainment on the Map?; Poll: How Much Will 'Twilight' Make This Weekend? You know, in posting my own poll, I had forgotten that Bolt is coming out this weekend; for some reason I'd thought it was coming out next week. Twilight may be screwed, I don't know. Of course, it might turn out to have huge legs as Twihards mount a campaign to pass $150M the weeks go on, who knows.

kashmir1: "Creation's just announced they're having a Salute to Twilight at their 17th Annual Grand Slam: The Sci-Fi Summit 2009 - May 1-3, 2009, Los Angeles, CA." Be there or be sane, y'all.

Via quitesometime: Well, at least she won't have to take a lexicon to court.

So awesome it goes above a cut: Tell us: What's Better: The 'Twilight' series or 'Harry Potter'? I think this is what's known as "trolling for traffic." Although the comments to the article are deeply, unspeakably full of win (someone was saying that ONTD infiltrated?):

Garth, reading Twilight is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.
Posted by: Wayne Campbell

I, in fact, single-handedly killed the Cullen cult; Renesmee was a bit tricky to handle, being biologically impossible, but with a bit of ingenuity and my dazzling smile, she was easily taken off! You can read about my exploits in my latest book (including how Bella tried to seduce me, but I don't blame her, most women act like that around me) "Culling the Cullens."
Posted by: Gilderoy Lockhart

One does not simply dazzle into Mordor.
Posted by: Boromir

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the werewolves and vampires will look up and shout 'Save us!'. And I'll look down, and whisper 'no.'
Posted by: Raw Shark

Twilight for the win. I hadn't even thought about taking the engine out of her car before. Thanks for the tip SMeyer!
Posted by: Your Abusive Boyfriend

Do you like Stephenie Meyer? Her earlier work was a little too "New Wave" for my tastes, but when Twilight came out in '05 she really came into her own commercially and artistically.
Posted by: Patrick Bateman

THE BLATANT OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN IN THIS BOOK OFFENDS ME DEEPLY.
Posted by: Edward Cullen

This worries me. Carry on.
Posted by: Tim Gunn

Comments

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

"And folks, just a reminder, RPattz DOES NOT BITE, so please stop sticking various body parts in between the bars. It makes him nervous."

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

"We do, however, have Hot Pockets for sale, which you can use to try to entice RPattz to come closer. If he does try to grab one, DO NOT HOLD ONTO HIM, as this may cause RPattz to cry hysterically."

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

This is actually making me kind of sad, because--this is really how these women treat him, isn't it?

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Yeah, they've really taken all the fun out of it and turned him into their sad dancing monkey.

As I was typing the Hot Pockets thing, I kept thinking over and over "I am going to hell." But I think I have to find some way to laugh about the utter absurdity of it all, otherwise I might cry.

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

Y'know the great irony of the entire situation? The fact that the whole Twilight community was up in bloody arms about the fact that they didn't think Rob was good enough to play Edward.

These lot aren't exactly a consistant bunch, are they?

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

They are teenage girls. All of them. Even the moms.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Like... I really like Reese's cups. But if it became a huge running joke that I like Reese's cups and people were pelting me with them everywhere I went, I would feel horribly self-conscious and probably resentful. Also, I would probably be sad that everyone always threw handfuls of the small Reese's cups at me and never those packages with just the two big ones. More peanut butter is more better, y'all.

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

It reminds me of how Barenaked Ladies fans used to (and maybe they still do, it's been years since I saw the band live) throw dry macaroni and the occasional open cheese packet at the band because of the line in "If I Had a Million Dollars" which goes "we wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner/but we would". They used to have signs all over the venues where they played, asking people not to throw any food, but instead donate it to a food bank or something. But there was always an asshole or two, and you'd see dry macaroni flying through the air, and the band was just like "sigh - oh well."

More peanut butter is more better, y'all.

Seriously. If you're going to prove your love with foodstuffs, at least do it right.

[wednesday]

Is it bad that I still count myself fortunate to have seen them play before the Kraft Dinner ban? Steven Page totally picked up one of the boxes (BOXES!!?), poured the dry macaroni into his mouth, chewed, and followed up with a bunch of the powder.

I mean, it sucks that the fanbase took it just way too far, but that was a stunning moment.

(This was during the weird stage between MISD and Pirate Ship.)

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

Oh man, that's awesome. I wish I could have seen that.

[madeline-may.livejournal.com]

"If you'll look to your left, you will notice a sign that details the various ways that will cause RPattz to burst into tears:

1. Invitations to bite

- A shy creature by nature, the RPattz does not enjoy being propositioned in such a disturbing manner, most especially if you happen to be under the age of majority.

2. Crowding

- The RPattz has recently been suffering from Twilight-induced clausterphobia. Please do not crowd around him, and refrain from flash photography, as his sensitive retinas are still repairing themselves from the Twilight Tour.

3. Screaming

- Occasionally, the RPattz will be gracious enough to answer a question from his fans. However, RPattz's ears are sensitive to loud noises and young girls shrieking "MARRY ME EDWARD!" We discourage such rambunctiousness.

4. Touching of the Hair

- In the wild, the RPattz uses his sensitive hair follicles to detect the presence of predators and distasteful company. We ask that you not touch the RPattz's hair regardless of the fact that it is, indeed, a beautiful spectacle of nature; you will upset its delicate balance and will greatly hinder the RPattz's ability to survive on his own.

Above all else, please respect the RPattz and treat him with kindness. If everyone follows these rules, it will mean a safe and happy viewing for everyone."

[robinmc.livejournal.com]

They should really start posting this at all his future events with fans. Not than any of them would give a damn.

DANCE MONKEY DANCE.

[mycenae.livejournal.com]

In the wild, the RPattz uses his sensitive hair follicles to detect the presence of predators and distasteful company.

Lol.