You know, I know you've been feeling kind of weird about sharing some of this with us, in that whole "do they really want to read about my grief about my dog?" kind of way. But you're such a gifted writer that you find ways to share it so that it reflects what grief is like- I smile at the picture of Lucky and the way you describe him, and then I feel for your sorrow at having lost someone you loved. And you have this clear voice that chronicles that emotion, and even this painful thing is evidence of your talent as a writer. Plus, you know, we don't just read your blog for your parodies and your linkspam, we read it because you are smart and clever and poignant and you're a real person. And real people are interesting. I totally hear you on the "what is God trying to tell me?" thing. Sometimes I wish God would get a better messenger service. Because it's easy to ignore certain things, because you can rationalize the feeling away when the signs aren't clear. If you feel like this is you "growing up", then maybe he had to go now so that you'd see that as your end goal, so you start doing what you need to do to get there, as opposed to not wanting to leave Lucky. Or maybe it was just his time. Or maybe it's a combination of factors and the ways of God are mysterious and all that jazz. Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss (I haven't had a chance to say that yet). With time, hopefully the pain will subside and the good memories will remain. And know that there are hundreds of people out here sending you good thoughts.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2006-09-24 06:58 pm (UTC)I totally hear you on the "what is God trying to tell me?" thing. Sometimes I wish God would get a better messenger service. Because it's easy to ignore certain things, because you can rationalize the feeling away when the signs aren't clear.
If you feel like this is you "growing up", then maybe he had to go now so that you'd see that as your end goal, so you start doing what you need to do to get there, as opposed to not wanting to leave Lucky. Or maybe it was just his time. Or maybe it's a combination of factors and the ways of God are mysterious and all that jazz.
Anyway, I'm sorry for your loss (I haven't had a chance to say that yet). With time, hopefully the pain will subside and the good memories will remain. And know that there are hundreds of people out here sending you good thoughts.