Hello, peoples of the internet

[cleolinda]

I am a little tired right now.

@cleolinda: I did not sleep at all last night. Just lay there hoping Bad Cat was making That Rustling Sound.

@SuperCricket: @cleolinda and that's how Cleolinda found out she had a heffalump infestation.

Speaking of Twitter: please do not contact me there if you currently are or are pretending to be on hard drugs. Thank you.

@NASA_Hubble: Helium walks into a bar. Bartender says "We don't take kindly to Noble Gasses here." Helium doesn't react.

You know, as Mark gets ever further into Harry Potter, I began to wonder why I never did Order of the Phoenix in Fifteen Minutes. What the hell was going on at the time? So I went back and checked some dates.

Goblet of Fire came out in November 2005. I remember this because we had a cold midnight showing (yay scarves!) instead of a hot summer one.

For whatever reason, I didn't get around to doing that one until... April 2007? Damn. I think I was still taking classes through 2006 (I never finished my MFA), and of course spent the first half of 2005 taking classes and writing the Fifteen Minutes book. So I was monumentally exhausted when GOF came out, it looks like, and once I missed it, it was hard to get the momentum back. Eventually I did, but it took a while.

Order of the Phoenix then came out in... 2007. Okay, this is starting to make sense. July 2007, to be precise--which is, as you notice, quite logically after April 2007. I bet I was trying to catch up on GOF so I could then do OOTP when it was fresh. But I let that one slip by, too.

I sat here and thought about it and tried to remember what my deal was, and--this is so, so stupid, and I don't want to discourage anyone from giving their honest opinion, but--a couple of people got upset about a line (of mine, not the movie's) to the effect of (MARK, SERIOUSLY, DON'T READ THIS) Harry saying to Sirius, "Remind me why I'm going to be so upset when you bite it?" As in, HOW DARE I be so--flippant? dismissive? snarky? something--about a beloved fictional character and his impending death. A death they found out about when Order of the Phoenix was published four years before they were sitting there reading the GOF parody and were still grieving. I guess I'd thought the mourning period was over, but there you are. So here I am, a month or two after people getting upset, faced with the movie in which Sirius actually dies, and while I'm not sure what was actually going on in my life at that point, I distinctly remember thinking, "Knowing how ornery people are about this, still, four years later, I really do not want to deal with trying to make this funny right now."

The correct response, of course, would have been <---HATERS TO THE LEFT, but I hadn't finished my degree in bitchcraft at the time, either.

But people asked why I never wrote that one up, and as far as I can remember, that's why: because I have a desperate need to make everyone happy all of the time.

Speaking of which: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Behind the Scenes Photos.

Completely Similar Directors Darren Aronofsky and David Slade Vying for Wolverine 2. ...what? David Slade came out of Eclipse with his cred intact, as far as I'm concerned, so not only could you do worse than class up a big-budget X-Men movie, you could not do worse than the first Wolverine. It's kind of a win-win situation. But... Aronofsky? Really? I mean... that is... what? I know I'm like the only person who liked The Fountain (in which Hugh Jackman was fantastic, by the way. CONNECTIONS), but... what? Am I going to be traumatized by this? Was that Black Swan trailer his Mutant Natalie Portman tryout? I don't even know.  

Related: PREVIEW: Archie's 'Twilight' Parody, Part 2! Sigh.

Better: Jackson Rathbone: New TV gig. 

trailer_spot: Tamara Drewe, 127 Hours, Housemaid, Fair Game, Case 39.

Jeremy Renner in 'Mission: Impossible', Only It Might Not Be Called 'Mission: Impossible.' Well, that seems... pointful.

7th Doctor Possibly Hobbit's Radagast the Brown, Which Means Something if You're a Nerd. That would be most of us here, yes.

John Cusack Playing Poe in 'The Raven.'

First Official 'Arthur' Images. Note: Not related to Arthurian legend in any way. Except, wait, wasn't Helen Mirren in Excalibur? Only tangentially related, then.

Official Site, Clip for Devil. AKA "The Movie Trailer Everyone Laughed at When M. Night Shyamalan's Name Appeared."

Hark, a Vagrant: Nancy Drew comic.

'The Last Exorcism': What Did You Think (of the Ending)? Honestly? Finding out the ending is the first thing that's made me want to see it. Because I have a deep appreciation for the (metaphorically) cracked-out.

Del Toro's 'Mountains of Madness' is Like 'Hellboy' Meets 'The Thing.' 

And finally, in news relating not in the least to movies: They're broadcasting those Russian numbers again. 

Comments

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

*snort* I really like that...eagle or whatever. Also, love for "bitchcraft." And personally, while Sirius' death positively wrecked me, I still think that line is clever & funny because you're parodying the movies, not the books, and the movies did a crap job of portraying the Harry/Sirius relationship. Their bonding in GoF, especially in the final chapters, is really important and moving, and it shows just why he's so crushed when he dies (and why Voldemort chose him to manipulate Harry, etc). I knew before OotP came out (the movie, I mean) that they'd have to shamelessly stuff it with sweet scenes between the two of them just to make it more tragic when he dies, and I'm just like OH SHIT, IF ONLY YOU'D THOUGHT OF THIS BEFORE. IF ONLY THERE WAS SOME KIND OF MANUSCRIPT WRITTEN BY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT'S COMING. And it was annoying. (But I forgave it because DanRad/Gaz = ♥.) And besides, you know, parody. So anyone getting too upset is missing the point. And if they said it was a spoiler, they are a terrible fan who doesn't deserve to be breathing...the air. [/the whole nine yards] I stopped spoiler-cutting for HP, like, two months after each book. If you haven't read it by then, you don't care enough for me to care. So yeah.

And no, you are not the only person who liked The Fountain. :D I thought it was amazeballs and gorgeous and heartbreaking, with fantastic performances. But I think we're alone here. *looks around all scared-like*

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah, no--spoilage was not the issue. It was someone who already knew--had read all the books--and was upset because my being flippant about Sirius's impending death was disrespectful. Or something. It upset her all over again? Something.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

...But...but--PARODY. That's the point, to be snarky about everything, both good and bad. And his death in the movies was both good, as in emotionally moving and well-acted and stuff, and bad, as in really really sad and kind of not well set-up at all. And it's obvious you actually like the books and weren't actually making light of it...yeah, that's weird. O___o

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah... it was weird. But apparently it's not appropriate to be snarky when someone they like dies (not even dies! IS GOING TO die!). I mean, I didn't hear any complaints about anything I said about Cedric, before or after, in GOF.

Of course... if I were posting GOF for the first time nowadays... that might turn out differently.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

That's just...weird. Maybe because Harry took it so hard, and you were ~DISRESPECTING THE HERO or something?

...I've just realized. Are SnapeWives going to come down on you like a band of harpies if/when you parody Snape's death? OH LAWD. Pass the Captain Morgan.

Of course... if I were posting GOF for the first time nowadays... that might turn out differently.
What, because of the sparklefuckery? Because fangirls would be incensed at your callous delight at their dear R-Pattz's demise? Heh. Eh heh heh heh. I would enjoy that.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking of the "...are you asking me out?" stuff. (BECAUSE SERIOUSLY THAT SCENE IS WRITTEN SO WEIRD.) Or that Parody Dumbledore's speech isn't ~serious~ enough. I mean, no one cares now, because that movie happened first. But if it had been the other way around... I wonder.

Personally, I say the Snapewives are welcome to bring it.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

Oh, hee! That scene is weird. They're both sort of...gazing intensely and R-Pattz is being sort of weirdly sexy. But I think that's just kinda how he is. And it only makes sense for Parody Dumbledore to be absurd, since Gambon doesn't take this shit seriously AT ALL. :P

...Frankly, I kinda want to see this too. I mean, I doubt I read your stuff too much because you're snarky and you don't light a green candle for Severus' Holy Name every other day or whatever the fuck it is, but...if there's wank, do keep us updated. They've been sort of quiet as of late, as far as I know, but I would think they'd pop back up once the DH movies come out.

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Honestly, I feel like he's delivering his lines in a sort of self-aware, half-apologetic tone. "Did you just ask me out?" "I KNOW, RIGHT?"

I would think they'd pop back up once the DH movies come out.

I kept thinking something would happen with the HBP movie (since the book is when the fandom MELTED THE FUCK DOWN), but--honestly, DH, is going to have to bring all the wank to the yard. It's inevitable, because it's going to dredge up all the bad feelings and unresolved flamewars--the Snape stuff, the shipper stuff, everybody being angry that this is the final movie(s) and this or that part has been irrevocably left out. It's everyone's last chance to completely lose their shit.

[la-petite-singe.livejournal.com]

And that's the beauty of R-Pattz. He's always kind of cringingly self-aware. Hence the no-seriously-WHAT-AM-I-DOING amazing facial expression whilst sparkling in the first movie. At least, that's what I'd like to think. Besides, that fits Cedric, doesn't it? Sort of humble and not too good at confrontation-type stuff, but trying to do The Right Thing at the same time? Or am I giving him too much credit? >___>

That's true, I s'pose. People seem REALLY split over the book as a whole, and not just the epilogue. I guess because it's so different from the other books--not set at Hogwarts, etc. I too kind of assumed more wank after HBP, especially from the SnapeWives and whatnot, since his plotline got basically eviscerated in that movie. The fact that he was the HBP, like...meant nothing at all. And he didn't get that epic "DON'T--CALL ME COWARD!"/"close your mind" scene at the end. I mean, I was pissed, and I have no marital relation to him whatsoever. But yeah, I'm guessing the true madness will descend soon.

popcorn.gif

[iamsmr.livejournal.com]

You guys are using the term "SnapeWives" like it's a thing. Is it a thing? Do I even want to know?

[cleolinda.livejournal.com]

Yeah... it is.


http://wiki.fandomwank.com/index.php/Snapes_on_an_Astral_Plane

[iamsmr.livejournal.com]

Thanks! (I guess? WTF)
"Snapes on an Astral Plane" is the best fucking title ever.