Yeah, I have junk for you and Cynara and lots of other people that I keep meaning to send but haven't because I'm dumb and apathetic.
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The DIY secret hollow book sounds much more doable than building whole secret passageways. A very Jewish relative (who plainly didn't bother to read the back) gave me the second in the Left Behind series as a present a few years ago, and now I know what to do with it.